Chanel. Coco Chanel.

I never really understood why people insist separating a celebrity’s name and last name. What is “Coco before Chanel” supposed to mean? The woman is a person! If we start partitioning peoples’ names we cause mental conflict to everyone. Except for Ms. Chanel of course, she’s already dead...

Anne Fontaine had this astonishing and super original idea - never happened before - to present us the life and times of an important modern personality before the personality becomes important. So she director fulfills her duty towards all those girls that are complete ignorants of Chanel’s legend, that is to tell them about Coco.

The plot is set in 1893, when the little young Coco lives in an orphanage central France waiting her father with her sister Andrienne. Later, we see them in 1908 Moulin, singing in a decadent cabaret and building their “public relations”.

Just upon the nip before Coco hits a great career as a singer in a duet, her sister decides to marry Baron Balsan - power is sweet - and she’s left high and dry with her dreams. Coco’s ambitious nature however drives her to the luxurious headquarters of super rich Etienne Balsan.

She starts dressing like a man and consciously  acts against every social convention. She’s always serious holding a look as if her pants feel too tight. She’s generally a streak of negation. Well, ok, she’s been poor, downtrodden, miserable but we really don’t need to have the same.

In Balsan’s house, Coco learns about great love. His name is Arthur Capel, or simply Boy. She falls in deep love with him, he falls too, and they address each other in courtesy plural... I’d be very curious to see what kind of love this is. I mean, during the time they relentlessly fuck would he say “Oh, I can undress you so effortlessly”...  Ye, get her some tea and then dance a waltz as well you spazzing geek!

Coco’s affair with Boy disturbs Balsan, who eventually remembers his love-like feelings for Gabrielle Coco Chanel and wants desperately to keep her in his tower forever and ever. Dear Balsan, a lady Chanel can get over the fact you’re old, loser in bed, have badly dyed hair and a silly obsession with horse racing, but she’s never gonna forgive that unsightly awful floral robe in which you hang around at home. Show some mercy!

And finally at the end we naturally realize we haven’t seen not even once Audrey’s teeth. Laugh a bit woman! You’re about to be fabulously rich; get rid of your misery!

Without the slightest narrative climax, somewhere in Paris, Coco becomes Chanel.

A piece of advice to those girls who’d want to play Chanel’s style, either as Coco or as Gabrielle. You can only be a small fish in a small pond!

PS.: Miss perfume did something really useful by having her hair cut somewhen in the end of the movie.