His name is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, but people call him Oz. Despite this intimidating twisted name, Oz is a total fail of a wizard. He’s so desperate that he can barely hide his incompetence in defining his professional orientation.
Even though magic doesn’t like him, it doesn’t mean pretty girls don’t either. In fact they fall for him quite easily after a bunch of whimsy and romantic babbling. Not a very good way for boys to learn how to hit on girls through modern Disney movies. Music boxes don’t exactly seduce women today so well.
Anyway. Something extraordinary happens in Oz’s life. During one of his fail tours, some macho man, boyfriend of a whining clown woman decides out of jealousy to smash Oz’s face for giving her a music box. Just when that bald jock was within a hair of beating the hell out of Oz, our wizard manages to escape on a balloon and reach the Land of Oz... oh yes, apart from his nickname it’s also a place somewhere on the planet or elsewhere.
 
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Naturally, Oz’s daily stuff remains the same. He lies that he’s a wizard to become a king, he gives away music boxes that allegedly belonged to his grandma and generally peddling his charm. Ah, men... They don’t change, do they. The worst is every girl believes him! Witches my ass!
Theodora and Evanora are sisters, queens and witches simultaneously. Too much, no? Anyway - for starters they show up to Oz as the “good guys” (or girls) and assign him to defeat the bad queen of the dark creepy woods. But as soon as he and his butler head towards there, they reach a wretched village that’s got teapots for houses and porcelain dolls for residents... So that’s what folklore means! In a teapot they find a crying doll with a broken leg. Oz fixes it with glue - don’t do this at home! - and she explains to him that the freaks raided their pottery the night before. In order to convince him to take her with him she starts screaming, flopping and grabbing his legs.. Women!
After Oz and his monkey companion get deep in the woods they discover that the supposedly “bad queen” is actually the good one and that the witch sisters are the evil ones. Oscar level plot... Meanwhile, the ex-villain now good witch Glenda, used to be Oz’s girlfriend before he arrives in Oz and she doesn’t know it. This is the supernatural background of the film...
Oz and Glinda fall in love, to the witches’ bitterness. So the latter decide to take revenge by devouring some weird apples that make them even more evil. I eat apples for many years but I haven’t seen any change in behaviour or appearance.. What’s wrong with them? In fact Theodora, who is supposed to be half-evil, gets a facelift looking like a post-office clerk just before work knock-off.
And now we have the expected battle between good and evil. The good guys have no army - that’s why they are good.. They are dwarves, musicians, porcelain peeps, artists generally and all expect the wizard to do the job. In the end, every nation deserves its choices....
And the battle begins. I mean, this battle couldn’t be more gay - no offense to gays. The witches fight flying and wearing their dresses. Oz pretends to be a wizard with the help of visual effects made by dwarves. The sisters also think that he is actually a wizard and are somehow afraid; beneath them the people staring right and left, once hailing and once whining. Of course, the good guys win, so boring. Could for once a director to spare the villains and let them win? Some realism please. It’s to be done since the last session of Rocky Balboa...
And they lived happily ever after...
Dear Glinda, I tell you. He’s gonna cheat on you some day!
Other than that, a good film for kids, despite Disney can do and has done better.
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