Parker. You 'been parked enough?

"Parker", as an adaptation of a classic book, is a regular action movie with lots of gunplay, even more blood, mafia-like encounters and a little bit of socialism. Oh yes, and a long, wonderful advertising campaign for Palm Beach's sightseeings, especially if you're a millionaire...

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Hansel & Gretel : Witch Hunters, or the Fantastic Two?

When the Brothers Grimm wrote "Hansel and Gretel" probably thought normal that some, in the future, would remake their fairytale in variations. As it indeed happened. What they never imagined was that the two poor siblings would sometime become Marvel Comics heroes. They also never...

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Side Effects, of being both depressed and a criminal

To my surprise, Side Effects gave something more than a dull, predictable narration of how destructing people with mental issues are for others and themselves. In fact it's a story about deception, acting and the rotten nature of today's financial and stock market system.   Emily...

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Killing them softly, or perhaps too softly

Surely a film beginning with pre-election statements by Obama promises a lot of problems. These problems are directed for 2 hours by Andrew Dominik in this story called “Killing them Softly”. This guy must be constantly living a conflict of values and a philosophical quest, which...

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Blockbusting theory #2

Once again I found another example of wise-paper rolling on the market floor.   This super long titled paper ("The Differential Effects of Online Word-of-Mouth and Critics' Reviews on Pre-release Movie Evaluation" by Chakravarty, Liu and Mazumdar) explains how people's comments affect other people's willingness to go watch a new film.   Even though in the beginning I found it interesting, it turns out to be another exploitation...

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No, no, no. No Maggie here.

A rather short, poor old lady narrates us the awesome life of Margaret Thatcher. Oh yes, this version of Meryl Streep is supposed to be Maggie in 2012, or at least the Maggie shaped by Phyllida Lloyd’s imagination. Quite a commercial success and a personal achievement of Oscar winner...

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Stand down grandpa!

Certainly a film starring Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin can be considered as “vintage”. Three decadent gangsters catch up with each other and recall old times. One is still fresh from jail, the other left adventure to be a sunset painter and the third is wired up on...

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Blockbusting theory #1

My first post on theory crafting snatches on a weird paper I found a few months ago while net-surfing. Before showing it to you I'll just introduce my gagged rationale.  Now let's all admit movie reviewing is something almost everybody can do. Reviews and critiques pop out in every portal, vortal, newspaper, online bulletin and wherever, like wild flowers during spring. But the truth is not everyone can do it well. Why? Because there...

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Welcome, but no punch

Even for me it’s hard to jabber much about “Welcome to the punch”. Its plot is a clutter and it struggles to attract my interest. Jacob Sternwood (Mark Strong) is an ex-criminal enjoying his inactive retired years in icy Iceland. However when he’s son is arrested in Heathrow airport he’s got to return to London, where old friend detective Max Lewinsky (James McAvoy) follows him everywhere hoping to arrest him by mistake and finally have some...

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Broken City: vote for the wig!

Mark Wahlberg plays former police officer Billy Taggart, now a private detective in the new action movie by Allen Hughes “Broken City”. The title refers to no other city than New York during the pre-election period for local governors.There are two candidates: Nicholas Hostetler...

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I thought they'd switch bodies :o

No gagging can be enough for this one! Α silly, indifferent parody of a comedy with very few actual comic means and endless baloney floating on screen for about one and a half hour.   Identity Thief. For starters. A random fat woman with many names steals the identity of...

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Addicted to magic

Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit. You don’t say? One can easily see that by his badly done hair, his peppy little look and splay furry feet. Other than that he’s quite a nice, clean and well-mannered hobbit living in Shire, the hobbits’ hometown in Middle Earth. It really looks like...

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Age doesn't come alone

There’s no need for introductions. He’s been introducing himself for over 50 years. In all countries and places, to friends and foes, women and men. His name is Bond, James Bond.    007’s 23rd film, through the slightly cyan-colored direction of Sam Mendes, starts with...

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Chanel. Coco Chanel.

I never really understood why people insist separating a celebrity’s name and last name. What is “Coco before Chanel” supposed to mean? The woman is a person! If we start partitioning peoples’ names we cause mental conflict to everyone. Except for Ms. Chanel of course, she’s...

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Fancy a magic music box?

His name is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, but people call him Oz. Despite this intimidating twisted name, Oz is a total fail of a wizard. He’s so desperate that he can barely hide his incompetence in defining his professional orientation. Even...

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Mommy, you rock!

A father and husband murders his wife and takes away his two little daughters, Victoria and Lilly. In a very brilliant state of mind, he drives his Mercedes as fast as there's no tomorrow on a road full of snow along a cliff. Naturally he walks out of the overturned car with a...

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Hemingway & Gellhorn: make love, no(matter the) war

    Having pretty Nicole on the foreground - not as she'd be if she hadn't met her best pal, who's of course her plastic surgeon, "Hemingway & Gellhorn" attempts to narrate writer Ernest Hemingway's life and his wife Martha, also a writer and a war correspondent. You...

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